Uncategorizable Mother

So, I decided to start a blog to talk about things that interest me as a parent.

There are a million mom-blogs out there. Why do I want to throw yet another one into an already crowded pot? Does anyone really give a shit what I think?

I don't know. All I know is, I'm not finding anyone out there who resonates with me in terms of mothering interests, exactly.

I seem to find oodles of mom-bloggers who fall into of the following categories:

1) Lactivist/VBAC/Attachment Parenting. (Usually under the banner of "feminist," even though I find quite a bit of what they profess to be rather anti-feminist.)

2) The Bad And Proud Of It Mom. (You know, makes funny stories about how they let their kids watch 80 hours of TV, while they drink half a bottle of Charles Shaw, and so on and so forth.)

3) How Did I Get Here? (Fairly ordinary mothers in terms of parenting strategies, but they like to blog about things such as how they used to be cute, trying to fit into pre-baby Citizens Of Humanities, how their sex life has changed, how they hate the beautiful put-together moms at preschool dropoffs...that sorta thing.)

4) Perfect Mom. (Usually Christian and good at photography. Posts many beautiful photos of her scrapbooking, cooking, and adorable handmade baby clothing. Quotes the Bible a lot. I enjoy knowledge of the Bible but I fall into that category of liking it best when it's used in a literary fashion or to make a point, not just because.)

5) Design Mom. (Home decor, 24-7. Look at my rocker my wallpaper my rugs my bed my dishes my cute thrift shop find. Occasionally a post about children.)

I'm not any of these. Who am I?

1) I respect the way my parents raised me, which was not exactly "How To Train Up A Child" but not Dr. Sears either. I have no patience with people who blame their fucked-upped-ness on their parents, unless their parents were truly abusive (and I know truly abusive because I married a man who went through it as a child).

2) I don't argue right and left with my mother about how to raise my child. I tend to ask her for advice.

3) I am religious. I was raised Catholic. I have my doubts about the Catholic Church and Christianity in general--religion in general, actually. However, I believe the good outweighs the bad and I am raising my daughter in the Church because I believe if you are going to reject something eventually, or "choose your own faith" when you are older, you should have a firm foundation in ONE religion in order to understand the whole picture.

4) I am very, very skeptical of the breastfeeding/lactivist movement. Breastfeeding is fine. It is healthy for mothers and children. I don't think any woman should be told not to nurse in public. However, breastfeeding is not a be-all, end-all, panacea to the world's ills. I find lactivists to be a bit nuts and brainwashed in a frightening way. I hope that doesn't offend anyone unduly.

5) I'm fine with Western medicine and the traditional hospital birth. Epidural--fine. Caesarean--fine. FTR, I had a vaginal birth but I did have pain meds and pitocin. Giving birth at home sounds like the seventh level of hell to me. To each her own.

6) I am a work-at-home mom who is my daughter's primary caretaker. I came to this lucky arrangement via much time spent on my career. I do not think the main family-oriented problem in corporate America is poor maternity leave, lack of pump rooms, etc. I think it has to do with less mothers in positions of executive power, which will never change so long as women keep opting out of the workforce after having children. Too much to write here, will elaborate later.

7) Being a career woman and a somewhat older mom (36 and a half when I gave birth--I'm now 39), I've never had much time to devote to homemaking. I'm a lousy cook. I try to feed my daughter a variety of foods, but I certainly am not cooking them all myself nor attempting to make her gourmet stuff.

8) Junk food in moderation is fine. TV in moderation is fine. Disney princesses are fine.

9) I respect my child but she is not the same as an adult. She does not get "respectful parenting" from me.

10) That said, I don't spank.

11) I do say "no." I don't try any of that "avoid the word no" bullshit. I say "yes" a zillion times a day and IT doesn't lose its effectiveness, does it?

12) I love child care. I don't find taking care of my daughter boring or overly frustrating, although I do have my crazy days.

That's me.